Ms Rabbit Reviews the Morning News

Ms Rabbit Reviews the Morning News

Ms Rabbit hopped up to the patio this morning , and waited patiently for me to read her the morning news.

Now you may well ask why I read the newspaper out loud to a rabbit. Be assured I have excellent reasons for doing so !

I used to let her scoot out front and get the paper. That saved me all the searching and stooping , but- between you and me-wiping rabbit saliva off a newspaper is not one of my favorite morning chores !

She also has the detestable habit of registering her disapproval of certain stories by depositing ( How should I put this ?) “rabbit pellets” right on the offending page. As you might imagine, this pretty much spoils any pleasure I might get out of the comics - (Did I mention she hogs them ?) - and doing the crossword puzzle is out of the question !

So this young, single, suburban rabbit and I have reached a compromise : she sits and listens :twitching her ears to show she is alert, munching choice bits of clover, and doing rabbit things with her nose. I sip my coffee and read selected stories aloud. ( By the way, rabbits may like this sort of thing, but most people don't like someone reading to them first thing in the morning-especially when they haven't even had a chance to look at the comics yet. )

Ms Rabbit is also rather...unsophisticated.

This morning , after I read her a story about Presidential Candidate Barack Obama unveiling an exciting new reform plan for lobbyists, she stopped eating, looked at me sidewise in that rabbity way and said : “That sounds like the bi-partisan bill that just passed both houses. The President is expected to sign it into law next week.”

“You don't understand !”, I exclaimed. “ Barack Obama is a reformer , who wants to clean up American politics, by ending the insidious influence of lobbyists.”

“ Oh”, said Ms Rabbit. “ Does that mean he will give up all those campaign contributions from George Soros ? You remember him, don't you ? The billionaire convicted inside trader,who launders his contributions through groups like MoveOn and other “progressive foundations” ,and who bet millions on reducing the value of the American dollar ?”

“ Listen,” said my furry companion. “ I gotta run ; but first...” She squatted briefly, then took off like a flash.

Damn ! I wish she would at least move off the patio before leaving her “letters to the editor” !!