Deer Mister Wine Snob :
Mister Wine Snob answers yer bever-edge questions.
Deer Mister Wine Snob, We-uns havin’ some kinfolk over to the double wide fer an "all-shootin’-irons-checked-at-the-door" whizbang this-here Memoriable Day . Maybe watch a li’l NASCAR on the 85 inch plasmer wide screen ? We’re a thankin’ maybe roast possum (Fresh ! We don’t hold with servin’ roadkill – not even to fambly !) , blackeye peas, grits, greens, sweet taters,an’ such-like. The wimminfolks been watchin’ summa them cookin’ shows on tv,an’ say we oughta act a li’l more classy, now we got a widescreen. They thank we oughter put out some wine , ‘stead a settin’ out washtubs of good ol’ iced beer. Whatta you thank ? (Pur-plexed in Persimmon Hollow) Deer Pur-plexed, I’m gonna have to side with the ladies on this-un. Tubs a beer ain’t got no pan-atchey , know what I’m sayin’ ? Now you-uns got a 85" widescreen , you gotta show jes a mite more class ! Lookin’ at yer menu, I suggest good ol’ Boone’s Farm apple flavor wine: it’s bubbly, has what we wine snobs call "an amusing flavor" , an’ it don’t suffer none from bein’ poured inta paper cups. That’s right, hoss : paper cups . Boone’s Farm has a way o’ sneakin’ up on ya – an’ , if yer fambly’s anythang lak mine, next thang ya know, ya got people throwin’ stuff around. You want somebody chuckin’ a wineglass at yer widescreen ? Thought not ! Mr. Wine Snob sez : "Safety first , hear ? "
ps: Somebody recently persuaded me to sip a glass of wine with my dinner. Okay: "dinner" was something we call "glop" : hamburger cooked in a mix of noodles and stewed tomato. What kind of wine do you drink with THAT ?
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